CPA Contributor: Vanessa Croswell-Klettke CPA, CGA
Vanessa is the Director of Finance at the Calgary Catholic School District and has a busy family life with her husband and twin girls. She shares why self-care recently became a priority for her, and how she’s making positive changes in her life.
Care. Such a little word, but so heavy in meaning.
All of us incorporate a duty of care into our lives – for our family, friends, work, and colleagues. Just think about how many people and things you care about in a day.
But what happens when your ‘care account’ is overdrawn? If you’re like me, self-care is the first thing that gets overlooked.
As a busy professional and parent, I find that by the end of the day, I’m spent. Like many of us, I go home to my ‘second care shift’ and often feel I don’t get time to just breathe. Especially during the pandemic, I found it more challenging to practise self-care.
Self-care during the pandemic
Since 2020, I saw many individuals struggle with disconnection, loneliness, and stress.
Normally, when those around me had a difficult day or experience, I would help them through it and the relationship would usually resume with laughter. But during the pandemic, the negativity seemed to continue and the laughter stopped.
“In that moment, I realized this: I need to invest my ‘care time’ wisely and give ‘care time’ to myself.”
Vanessa Croswell-Klettke CPA, CGA
As parents, my husband and I had many tough decisions to make, and each choice came with big consequences. I watched my children miss activities, miss time with their friends and family, and spend too much time on screens.
At that time, work also became busier for me. I took on more responsibilities to help my team get through peak periods with staff shortages, and tried to help those around me who were already giving so much of their time and energy. But I started to see that, in my quest to help my team, take care of my family, and be there for my friends, I wasn’t helping myself.
My realization moment: running on fumes doesn’t work
It was while I was watching the recording of the CPA Assist Virtual Wellness Conference that the session on burnout struck a chord for me.
The concept described my situation. In that moment, I realized this: I need to invest my ‘care time’ wisely and give ‘care time’ to myself.
My ‘care tank’ was running on fumes. My ability to lead at work was taxed because I was not taking care of myself, and my ability to parent was strained because I was exhausted.
As accountants, we have imbalanced busy times with strict deadlines. Sometimes the pressures in our profession, like in many other professions, increase and it gets harder to meet deadlines and complete tasks. The list gets longer, and the feeling of accomplishment is quickly diminished by the next to-do item. But if we don’t take care of ourselves, we can get consumed in this cycle and our personal lives can suffer.
Through my reflections, I realized I struggle to balance what my job requires of me, or what I perceive it does, and what my family requires from me, or what I perceive they do. I had to learn to rebalance.
How I integrate life and work now
When it comes to balancing work and life, I’ve often felt guilty.
“… I remind myself that everything we do together as a family counts and matters.”
In the past, I always tried to separate work from life. I would stay at the office longer but when I got home, I was home. But sometimes that meant coming home only a few minutes before my children’s bedtime. Lately, rather than leaving work at work and home at home, I am learning to integrate the two. I try to get home for supper, even if that means working a bit after bedtime. It is during that time with my kids that I discover what is going on in their world.
If I work late nights, the weekends are ours – full of walks, bike rides, activities, and more. When I work on the weekend, my girls are usually around me, unless I need uninterrupted time. If I cannot be there for them, I have a supportive partner who is. A colleague once said to me that I am teaching my girls to have a strong work ethic. I hope I am.
While the feelings of guilt run deep sometimes, I remind myself that everything we do together as a family counts and matters.
Practising self-care every day
I have learned that I cannot be an effective parent if I give my family all my time and give none to myself. My family brings me immense joy, but I still need time for myself.
Laughter is one of my biggest ‘self-care currencies.’ I enjoy jokes and silly times with those around me and comedy podcasts during my work commute. As we start to go out again, I look forward to brunches with friends, trips to visit my family, work team activities, and a family vacation (fingers crossed!).
But mostly, self-care for me is about reminding myself that I cannot save the world. I am learning to forgive myself when I miss a bedtime or work during a weekend, as it makes our time together more special.
In my workplace, I continue to help foster a caring environment, and most importantly, I am allowing myself to be vulnerable with those around me and forgive myself for it.
When it comes to rebalancing – sometimes I win and sometimes I lose. But I never stop trying.
Do you have a wellness story you want to share with your fellow CPAs? Email us at contact@cpa-assist.ca.
CPA Assist provides confidential counselling services and 24/7 crisis support to Alberta and Saskatchewan CPAs, candidates, and their immediate families. To book an appointment through CPA Assist, call 1-855-596-4222 or email cpaforbes@telus.net.