By Sarah Carver CPA
As a young professional, I struggled with communicating with my peers. I was so focused on being taken seriously that I often came across as too pushy or aggressive. This led to some roadblocks in my career and highlighted some areas of personal development that I desperately needed to work on if I wanted to continue to grow in my role.
As a Controller, I need the team to hear my concerns, trust my recommendations, and come to the table with an open mind and ear to what I need to say. Over the last three years, this has become a key focus for me, and my communication skills have begun to develop and grow. By doing this I have been able to be seen, heard, and understood more effectively by my team, which has increased my own confidence, and improved my results.
Meet people where they are
In my experience, most roadblocks in communication can be brought back to how the other person is receiving what you are saying. Maybe they feel you are attacking their performance when bringing up an area of concern or don’t feel heard in the solutions you are providing. Meeting people where they are is key to improving communication. If I know someone enjoys starting a meeting with personal connection, I will mindfully set aside five minutes at the start of the conversation for a moment of connection. Usually, after that moment of connection, that person will feel more relaxed and much more open to having a conversation about an area of concern.
People want to feel heard and understood. By showing them that I am approachable, listening, and wanting to work with them in their space, the results that I can achieve by having some hard conversations have drastically improved.
Keep communication respectful and solution-focused
When working with colleagues, clients, or other stakeholders, some conversations are not easy to have. This is where respect becomes a huge factor. When reviewing a department’s performance in a management meeting, you can’t say to that team’s leader, “Team A sucks. What’s wrong with them?” or “is Team B napping rather than selling? Look at their numbers.”
Both of those statements would have drastically negative impacts. We want to approach tough conversations respectfully and from a solution-focused perspective. Try something like, “I’ve noticed Team A’s numbers are down. Are there market or internal influences that we feel have impacted this?” or “Team B’s sales numbers are down, but I’ve noticed their marketing budget is still under projected. Are there some tools or solutions we can use to bring those numbers up?”
Both of these direct the team into a solution-focused approach centered around cooperation and discussion rather than negativity and blame.
Be okay setting boundaries in areas of unhealthy communication
Like most people, I don’t like confrontation. More specifically to me, I don’t like confrontation when it is more personal than professional. In professional conflict, I am happy to stand my ground and put on a brave face, but once that becomes personal, I get emotional. And when I get emotional, my face shows it.
When that happens, and communication turns into conflict, boundaries need to come into place. There is no reason for a personal attack to take place in a professional setting. As hard as it is, I had to learn to be comfortable setting a boundary and removing myself from the conflict. I have had to make it clear that I will not participate in discussions that bring in personal issues. And in those moments, I have set a clear boundary. I will not fight back as that would bring me to their level and fuel the conflict; rather, I make it clear to those involved that the conflict/communication has taken an unacceptable direction and that I will remove myself until we can cool off and reconvene later to have a more professional dialogue.
I still need to work on this every day, but by setting a clear boundary that I won’t cross, my peers have learned to change their communication as there is no value in personal attacks. This has garnered respect for the way I communicate and shown my team I will not attack them, even in the heat of conflict, which creates respect.
Conclusion
Some people say the squeaky wheel gets the grease or the loudest voice in the room is heard. I feel that these ideas direct us toward reactive solutions. I would rather focus on being the easiest-to-hear the voice in the room and be listened to and understood rather than just heard. This isn’t always easy. It takes time and continually working with your team on how you communicate with them. You have to build trust and respect in every interaction, but it does pay off.
It doesn’t mean you have to be soft but rather be clear and respectful, and the long-term results will be worth it.
Do you have a wellness story you want to share with your fellow CPAs? Email us at contact@cpa-assist.ca.
CPA Assist provides confidential counselling services and 24/7 crisis support to Alberta and Saskatchewan CPAs, candidates, and their immediate families. To book an appointment through CPA Assist, call 1-855-596-4222 or email cpaforbes@telus.net.